Btw.

I miss blogging. I just re-read my last blog post. Yes, so much for the pretty weather. I have a bad cold. Soar throat I can handle. Even the fact that because of my hoarse voice I could easily be mistaken for a guy. Or should I say I already have been mistaken for a guy. (horribly embarrassing story). But flu? leave me aloneee. I hate sounding nasal and blowing into "soft" tissue. My trashcan is overflowing with mucus filled tissues. But what is worse is my red clown nose. Seasonal sickness. I hate it. But see that's not the thing. I stay sick all winter. Someone like me who loves winter shouldn't be cursed with bronchitis. Oh well. Doesn't stop me from having fun, though. A few days back Mariam told me to not lay in the grass. But the rush is worth the price I pay. Like last winter me and Hassan would play silly games out in the cold. We'd take our hoodies off and bet on who'd last longer without it. Then again, last winter has been the best one so far. After of course the train ride from Houston to San Francisco, 2005. And, that valentines day with Nahal and Menahil, 2009. I'll always hold on to these. The point is no matter how sick I am, I'm still gonna eat lemons with Mariam. And I'm not gonna complain later even though that's impossible. I'm a total walking-talking complain-box, as Ehab likes to label me.

Btw I cut my hair again. Real short this time. I got bored, again! I miss my hair already.
Imma go now. Think I have some sorta test tomorrow.

Winter lovin'

So today it was freezing cold. Wearing just a Tshirt did not help whatsoever. I'm just so happy that winter is FINALLY here. You should've been there. I will force Sarah to eventually give me the pictures. You'll like em.

So right now, me and Mariam were just sitting here on my bed. We were looking up colleges. The deadlines are way too close and its getting scary now. I'll worry about that tomorrow, though. At the moment I'm too tired and sleepy. Psychology test, didn't get much sleep last night. Imma go have dinner.

xo

Trash talk.

People say we only drool over the old happy memories when the present is unpleasant. I don't agree, though. Cant you think of old happy times during happy times? I can. Try and be more optimistic, alright?  
For the last couple of days I've been stealing Mariam and Menahil home with me. Seriously, I figured without my phone, I have no life. As loserish as that sounds, it's very true. The point is, I can not live without my people. I have a knack for getting addicted to my surroundings..
Anyway, I had a nice breakfast today with Menahil and Ehab. Ehab bought me a chocolate sprinkled doughnut and then we had sandwiches or something. These two people are obsessed with my food, you see, if it were for them they'd stuff the whole world down my throat. I tell em I just have tiny bones but no, nobody believes me.
I have so much homework but I want to sleep instead. Serious dillema. Maybe I'll just finish half of my homework and then go to sleep. Yeah, that sounds good.
So, later?

xo

Stuck at school.

I'm sitting in the common room at school. Stole Shahrose's laptop to write to you. People are annoyingly loud around me. Or, I'm just in the most rotten mood today. Lemme tell you why:

• I miss my crap-ass phone. My baby.
• Menahil never showed up at school today and now curiosity is being a pain in the ass because there was something that she had to tell me.
• Couldn't reach Ehab last night.
• I have a psych test and I've lost my text book.
• I have no classes and I'm being made to stay in school till two p.m. Two hours from now.
• I was typing and the battery died on me. Twice.

 I shall go have something to eat.

xo

Mariam,

I know that I could just inbox you or something but for some reason I felt the need to write to you here. Its been so long since I said anything. Don't get sad. You have no reason to be. One day it'll all be alright, even me. Or not. But it doesn't matter. I'm just glad we have each other to fall back on, to love, to cry to, to share the nice and not so nice moments. Trust me, that's all that matters.
I will never forget that night when we sat together, silently on the sidewalk under the streetlamp. I didn't want it to end. It makes me sad that its over and gone.

I miss you, too.

p.s. go have a yellow Popsicle from me.

xo

Listen Ehab.

Don't let the darkness scare you. Because without the darkness you wouldn't be able to see the stars and my moon, right? People say that they fear the dark but I hide from all my fears IN the dark. I can be who I want to be. Sometimes its not a bad thing to be an invisible observer. The darkness is my cover. Don't run from it because it only means to tell you that the brightness of light eventually gets dim but that's okay. The darkness isn't so bad. Find your moon and the stars above.

Too many feelings.

'There are things that we don't want to happen but we have to accept, things we don't want to know but we have to learn, and people we cant learn to live without but we have to let go.'


Sometimes you just have to say it out loud to actually mean it. And when you mean it, you start feeling it too. Maybe all this sounds like bull to you but that's okay because all you need to know is that our background, circumstances and the past may have influenced who we are but we are responsible for who we become. One thing I now know is that you can keep going long after you think you can't. There are always ways, people, and miracles along the path that help us get through. Always. Even when you think you're alone. You're not. Most of the time we're too busy hanging your head down, crying. Only if you wiped away those tears and looked around. You'd see so much more than just your grief. Because, you see, the world is round; what may seem like an end may as well be a new beginning.