tralalamiraclelalala.

Lemons don't work. After sucking on 12 you just feel a little thirsty but that's about it. Popsicles give me nose bleeds. Books only work temporarily- certainly not good enough. Music makes me cry. You give me major addictive issues. The tv plays nothing worth my time. Candy gives my brain a high and it starts to think- definitely a no no. Bad day? Bad week? Definitely just a bad year with one day of too much happiness to stomach. Check out the deal: to counter one day  half a day of good news, you get 364.5 pathetic days. Be thankful.

Lets shut up, be thankful, and work on the plan. Shh.

Blame it on September.

Time that never sides with plans. Plans that never side with happiness. People who never side with the truth. And I fall in love with all the wrong things.
You know that feeling when you glance over your shoulder and smile at the world behind you because you're there and you've been so strong? Yeah, I'm craving that feeling.

Its okay to cry.

Tired and rose red with all that kohl seeping into them. Unintentionally, like always, I dabs 'em and stain my tan with that black.

A multitude of crap.

I think I have a good feeling about this. But I could blame the candy.

There used to be a time when I could only study with the radio turned on. Now I want the quiet. Signs of getting old everyday?

Too many birthdays. I need money. I need a new phone. I need winter. I need to start crossing out days on the calender. I need a big black marker.

You like the new fb? I don't like the new fb. I don't even like the blue kiddy seesaw staring me in the face right now. I don't like the ground on which its sitting either.

I should be happy. But it'll only make me sad now. Lets gang up and hate on soccer balls.

Septembers come and go way too soon. It's not even funny anymore. Septembers are mean.

Last time I said I had a good feeling about it.. um, my intuition sucks? Shutup. Change topic. You don't have the guts to follow yours. Boo you.

I think I'll just blame the candy.

Terrified.

I'm scared. I'm scared because things are slipping away. But maybe that's how people are; ice cubes in the summer that burn your hand if you hold 'em for too long. So when I tell you I'm being too clingy, remember that it'll only hardly last minutes- I'm scared.

 Maybe everyone is scared, scared they'll never get what they want or, if they've got it, scared that somebody will come and take it and if nobody does, time will. -Evergreen

Hi. I'm loopy.

It's of those days when you wish someone wipes off your whole to-do list so you can sleep for the whole of next week (with Francine, of course). I'm so tired. A few days of intensive sociology has bored me enough to fall in love with my bed. I'm turning into a lazy cow, though. I got breathless that day after barely walking a few steps in lums. (Notice that I'm only just nineteen!)

I lost my phone in the blanket and then I threw the blanket around till it fell out. Does that ever happen to you?

I saw an old friend yesterday, almost just accidentally. And I just wish people were more honest and just say, "Hey I'm coming into your life and we're gonna become best friends but I have no intention of staying long." That would make life so much easier. Seriously, what is with people and waking up one day and just deciding to walk away?

I have a really bad habit of imaging bad things happen to people I hate.

I hate you. I hope you step on a lego brick, barefoot. Or,

Omg remember that time? I hope you fall off the chair and break your back. 

Oh. God. I told you I was sleepy.

I am weird.

A tiny moment when I was studying with a friend and something I always just skimmed through suddenly made sense. Or that long hour on the phone when I realized I miss Aisha so much. Or how I can be laughing one minute in the middle of the night and be asleep the next. Or how for one moment when I woke up today, everything looked so beautiful. And that moment of rush when I formatted my phones memory card. You know how that feels? It's like that feeling when you're eating a lemon icicle and it's so cold that your brain freezes and your lips go numb and your nose starts to bleed and out of all that, you get a high.

Oh and when I have my high/loopy moments I laugh like an idiot and talk like I'll never shutup. I mean if I were sitting behind me in a movie or something, I'd totally tell myself to shutup and leave.

Must read.

http://bourgeoispigsrandomosities.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-find-myself-realizing-that-this-man.html#links

nostalgia

Has it been a week? I dunno. Can't remember how long. I fell asleep on my book and I dreamed about home. I used to say I carry my home with me each time we move. But that's not true. The house with the mirror walls and the creaking wooden floors, and the leaking ceiling, and the rectangular window's over-looking the forest I never fully explored will always be my home. It breaks my heart to realize that two years weren't enough and I let go so easy. So if I have to buy a ticket with every penny I own and board a plane half way across the globe just to stand out side my home one last time, I will. And as much as I'll want to, I won't ask the owner's to let me in because if I can't find that red bunk bed in my room and my barbies scattered on the floor or my grandma sitting at the kitchen table or my uncle sleeping somewhere in the upstairs bedroom, it won't feel like home anymore. And I can't let go of the way I remember it.