So here's my theory. You'll live a boring life and then after a huge amount of time something big will happen to counter all the shit. And just for one moment you'll realize how you got everything that you ever wanted. For one moment you'll feel like you're lucky. For one moment you'll feel like it was all worth it. For that one tiny moment you'll love God for your existence. Emphasis on just one moment. And then you'll go back to being ungrateful, unhappy, and well.. normal. But nonetheless, you will experience that one moment that may seem life changing in the best way and the next minute you'll forget all about it. Why? It's because humans are stupid and miserable. The point? I'm having that tiny moment of bliss as we speak.
Okay I'll try to explain this a little better.
He's an ass and I love him. I love him in a let him eat the last piece of my honey bun, cook him food even though I don't know how to cook sorta way. Wanting to throw him in front of a speeding car and then die trying to save him kinda way. And I should tell him this but I probably won't. Instead I'll just write here.
I feel grown up. In a good way. In a 'I love life' kinda way. Like when you come to the point where you know that you're far from perfect and you have an ugly looking haircut and that you could have a more flatter stomach but you're somehow happy about it all. Because looking back at life you see pain and so much heartache but then you look at yourself and you see strength.
Last year passed. Its gone and I'll miss it. I'll miss my friends in Pakistan, I'll miss being their friend who fell asleep everywhere and ate like a pig and never gained weight and turned everything 'dirty'. And I'll miss the summer of 2012 the most and I'll keep it with me forever. I'll miss the feeling of the perfect change.
New year resolution? Find more reasons to love life.
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